Simple, effective mindfulness techniques to help tackle tricky toddler bedtimes
As daylight savings looms, the anxiety levels of parents with toddlers increases across the country. Yes, it’s ANOTHER sleep transition...how on earth do we get through this one?
While we’re excited to say farewell to the ills of winter, the shorter darker days, the cold and the downright gloom, we struggle to remember whether the clocks go forward or back and how did we get through this last time?
Daylight savings officially starts Sunday 29 September at 2am when you’ll shift your clocks forward by one hour. Today we’re talking about mindfulness and how to create a practice that’ll calm, connect and support your child through a change of bed time - from a busy day at daycare into a peaceful night’s sleep.
What is mindfulness and how will it help?
You may have only heard the term mindfulness bandied about, or maybe you already practice yoga or meditation, but how can we use mindfulness to help our kids manage tricky transitions like bedtime?
Mindfulness is a simple technique to help us focus on the present moment. It can be used anytime, anywhere and not just when things aren’t going well. Developing a mindfulness practice ourselves is a game changer – fostering a sense of relaxation and calm, leaving you feeling centred and peaceful, increasing your overall happiness. Your feelings of overwhelm and anxiety drop away. Sounds good right?
Teaching children mindfulness from an early age is a great idea because connections in their brain (their prefrontal cortex to be precise) are developing at their fastest rate. The stronger these connections are the better. The prefrontal cortex controls lots of things but is vital for focus, concentration and cognition, which impact on your child’s ability to self-regulate, make sound judgements and develop patience. Mindfulness provides your child with a tangible coping tool for life that ultimately makes for a happy, well-adjusted, resilient child.
You don’t need anything to practice mindfulness (just your willing self) and it can be as quick as a 30-second pause in your day to a more dedicated length of time.
How do I teach my child mindfulness?
The best way to teach your child is to model your own mindfulness practice. Showing our children how to do this is an important lesson in their own self care practice. Some ways to enjoy the present moment are:
Resisting the urge to be on your phone around your child
Practice activities that require focus like art/drawing/colouring/crafting and reading
Take small moments (while the jug is boiling) to stop and practice mindfulness – clear your thoughts as much as you can and focus on the task at hand.
Maintain eye contact with your child and hear what they’re telling you, don’t just listen.
Stop multitasking and do one thing at a time from start to finish.
Creating a regular time each day will help establish your practice and bedtime is the perfect place to start.
How to practice mindfulness with your child at bedtime
Gentle bedtime movement
A lot of mindfulness practices can focus on stillness, which isn’t always easy for children especially if their nervous system is all riled up from a busy day. Many children will find it more useful to practice activities that involve gentle movement such as bedtime yoga - check out this simple sequence to try with your child.
Games to play together to connect and calm
Simple games at tuck in time are a great way to encourage your child to relax and prepare to rest:
The listening game – get really quiet and ask your child what they can hear. They might hear the traffic in the distance, the whir of the washing machine, a car on the street. This activity helps your child tune into their senses. Maintaining eye contact is helpful during this time so your child has a focal point and you can connect together.
For older toddlers, a short game of Chinese whispers can be very connecting. You can whisper words (made up or loving ones), tunes or anything really simple they can then try and repeat back to you. They may just enjoy you whispering in their ear!
Investigation – using their sense of touch and sight, invite your child to explore in detail a favourite soft cuddly toy or a lovely natural object. Noticing the minutiae will help you both enjoy the present together.
Relaxation tools to prepare your child’s body for sleep
Your child is calm, the lights are low and you’ve worked towards this moment - it’s time for:
Tense and relax – invite your child to tense up their hands/feet or face, make a grumpy face like mum/dad and then relax. Repeat this several times, it’ll help their bodies enjoy relaxing. You can work up the body from their feet to their head when they’re older.
Belly breathing – with your child’s hands resting on their belly (or holding a favourite soft toy), take some deep breaths together, in through the nose and out through the mouth. Do they feel their hands rising with each breath? Can they take a deeper breath and make their soft toy rise and fall even more? Practice belly breathing three plus times before lights out.
Books and other resources to encourage mindfulness
As more and more children and adults are diagnosed with anxiety-related issues, mindfulness practices have boomed over the last five years. Fortunately, there’s a lot of resources available to establish your own family practices:
Check out New Zealand author and artist, Jen Sievers’ book, published by New Shoots Publishing. This story takes parents and children through a mindfulness exercise designed to reduce anxiety and deal with tricky emotions.
The New York Times has a section on its website dedicated to mindfulness for infants right through to teenagers.
We’d love to hear if these techniques make a difference in your family, and if you find any great resources to support families at bed time, please let us know.
· Discover more about your child’s development here.
· Find out what Neuroscience Educator Nathan Wallis says 3-7 year olds need to learn.
· Tips for your child’s first 1,000 days.
If you’re interested in learning more about New Shoots centres, our website is a great place to start. You can:
Find the centre nearest you
Contact us to organise a visit
Discover our curriculum, vision and foundation principles
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